Finding perspective, tenacity and a clearer sense of self while living abroad
As someone always looking for tips and tricks on how best to manage my career, I am an avid reader of Harvard Business Review (HBR). I start every weekday morning with a quick read of the HBR Daily Alert and the HBR Management Tip Of The Day, which are both waiting in my inbox when I wake up. When the HBR article entitled “How Living Abroad Helps You Develop a Clearer Sense of Self” came across my LinkedIn feed, I couldn’t read it quickly enough! I lived abroad for eight and a half years (six months in Australia, two years in Spain and six years in England) so I was very curious how HBR thought these experiences had impacted me professionally. The title also intrigued me because I know that I personally decided to go abroad in my early 20’s because I was in desperate need of a clearer sense of self and purpose.
In college I had the perception that everyone knew what they wanted to be when they grew up. I, on the contrary, couldn’t have felt more uncertain. I chose my college major based on my academic interests in high school, politics and history, but I was unclear what job or profession this would lead me to. I was told in the various career seminars I attended that most political science majors go on to law school afterwards so that became my plan, I would go to law school. Life plan, sorted.
However, as my undergrad experience began wrapping up and preparation for the LSAT’s became the focus of classroom conversation, I couldn’t even feign interest. As my senior year wrapped up and my lack of a career plan became obvious, I knew I needed time and space to reflect on what I want to be when I grew up before accumulating more student loan debt. Not working wasn’t an option while I “developed a clearer sense of self” so when the opportunity to move to Spain and teach English for 1,000 Euros a month presented itself, I jumped at the opportunity!
Now that I have been back in the US for four years and have had time to reflect on my experiences abroad, I completely agree with HBR that living abroad helped me develop a clearer sense of self personally and professionally. These experiences made me question my perspective, developed a relentless tenacity for what I deserve and forced me to define my identity.
Perspective
As someone that was raised in the United States and didn’t leave the country until I was 20, there are certain aspects of life that I believed were fact before moving abroad. One example was driving on the right side of the road and the driver being on the left side of the car. In a casual conversation with some classmates in Australia, I explained that I missed driving but wasn’t planning on driving in Australia because they drove on the “wrong side of the road”. A classmate quickly responded, “it’s not the wrong way, it’s a different way”. I instantly felt so embarrassed that I had so casually implied that how we did things in the United States was the “right way” and everything else was the “wrong way”. I didn’t believe we had everything figured out, but I had subscribed to certain cultural norms because it was all that I knew. This shift in perspective has opened my eyes to others perspectives in professional settings. Rather than dismissing decisions and rationale because they don’t align with my perspective, I try to understand why certain business decisions are being made and how decisions could be viewed cross-functionally.
Relentless Tenacity
During my time abroad, I spent more hours in immigration offices than I ever thought possible. The obstacles to maintain legal residency felt endless. I would come armed with mountains of paperwork to justify why they should let me stay in the country. For one of my numerous visits for a Visa in Spain, I arrived before the office even opened and waited outside in the cold until it was my turn. I completed all the forms with block letters, in black ink, and had all of my certified forms ready. After jumping through every hurdle imaginable, I was told to return in 3 weeks to collect my Visa. When I returned, I had to wait 3 hours in the waiting room only later to be told that my Visa had been sent to another office that closed 30 minutes ago. I went to the other office the next day for a very similar experience, only to be told that my Visa wasn’t there and that if I didn’t have the Visa in my possession within the next 5 days, I needed to leave the country. I found Spanish skills I didn’t even know I had and a strength deep inside me that actually frightened me. I refused to leave the office. Unsurprisingly, my Visa was “found” about 15 minutes into my standoff with the Spanish government and no apology or explanation was provided. From that day I have approached obstacles with a belief that “no” simply means try harder.
Clearer Sense of Self
When establishing a life in a new country, making new friends was always top of my priority list. When getting to know new people from different cultures, people wanted to know who I was and where I came from. The questions wouldn’t always be asked that directly, but more indirectly. “What is the origin of your last name?”, “Where is your family from?”, “What is it like to be American?” I had never been asked these questions in the United States because I am an American and a woman of color. That is my identity. However, this box checking exercise means very little outside of the United States. I was forced to define who I was as a person, what I stood for, what I believed, and how my experiences as an American and woman of color had shaped my identity in ways I had never reflected on. This forced introspection of who I was and what I cared about helped me develop a greater sense of self. In business, I am comfortable confronting and contradicting stereotypes while also feeling empowered to bring my full self to work.
While living abroad was extremely influential in who I am today both personally and professionally, I am not saying that living abroad is a requirement to gain perspective, develop tenacity or discover yourself. Some people develop these life skills MUCH earlier in life than I did, which makes me extremely jealous. Also, there are plenty of experiences domestically that can foster similar learnings. Before embarking on any adventure, having a sense of what you will get out of it and why you are doing it is essential.
I went abroad to have the time and space to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Eight years later I came home with a suitcase of metaphorical souvenirs including a new perspective on why I believe what I believe, a relentless tenacity for what I deserve in life and a clearer sense of self and identity. These experiences weren’t only personally enriching, but have shaped who I am professionally. I try to understand why certain business decisions are being made from cross-functional perspectives, I interpret a “no” as a “no for right now” when negotiating and I feel comfortable being my full self in work settings. Once again, HBR for the win!
